I had been assigned a difficult task. Elder Wenrin instructed me to follow the strange human group, but I must not be detected. In this strange land, it is difficult to remain unnoticed.Elder Wenrin gave me a device that causes me to look like a dog. For the most part, I don't think anyone noticed.
The group traveled swiftly, though I lost two of the humans shortly after arriving in this city. The insane one will not be missed. I feel some regret that we lost the cigarette one. She did not fit in that group. As I do not in mine. I felt something I had been suppressing for years. Empathy.
~~~
It had all started with those two pups, the twins. One had been born perfect, the alpha of the two. The other pup was a genetic disaster. Somehow, she had not received any wolf genes. At first, her mother had tried to conceal it, but sooner or later, Elder Wenrin always came to inspect the new litters. The mother approached me, and asked for my help.
The pup looked human. If not for her eyes and wings, you would not be able to tell that she was Daakshi. I was young then. Young and foolish.
Elder Wenrin would see the mother and twins last. I thought I'd have enough time to rescue the deformed pup. I knew our ways. Any deformed pup would be culled. We could not afford to keep genetically unsound pups. And in our history, there had never been a deformation as severe as this.
I had a plan. I would steal the pup and fly to the first human city, and put her outside a house. She would be revered there. Instead of endangered here.
I thought I'd have enough time. The plan started perfectly. I took the pup in a basket and started to the nearest human city. Unfortunately, I'd forgotten to check the patrol schedule, and I was caught. Elder Wenrin was furious. I can still remember what he said to me...
"This is insubordination." Elder Wenrin never raised his voice. Instead, he lowered it so that I had to strain to hear. A feeling of doom descended over me. "Rachel, you were the Alpha of your training class. You knew our law better than you did your name. Yet, you threw that away for the sake of this...abomination." He looked at the pup I still held with a look of disgust. "Normally, the Daakshi that attempted this would share the same fate as the...thing. I do not wish to destroy such a promising soldier. Therefore, I shall give you another chance to prove yourself. Rid us of this blight, and you may reenlist in our army. If you choose not, I will regret the loss of such talent as yours."
I hadn't noticed, but when I looked up, I was surrounded by large, imposing Daakshi. I had no choice...I had to do it.
~~~
Lost in thought, I did not notice when the group entered a restaurant and proceeded to cause mayhem. Though I wasn't surprised. I heard their shouting, and turned in time to see a group of unsavory men aim weapons at the group. I discarded my disguise and leaped, tackling a man. His gun fired, injuring a wing. I did not feel it, the battle was upon me.
The robed human produced a glittering hemisphere, protecting the couple, and brandished her staff threateningly. A heavy feeling settled over the restaurant, and time seemed to slow. The men...fell asleep. I was fighting to keep my eyes open, when the heavy feeling was removed.
The duck-human turned to the robed one.
"I didn't know you could cast that!" She sounded astonished.
"I didn't either..." The robed human looked at her staff. "It just...happened."
I could feel the pain now. My wing slumped, and I could see my blood on the floor. The metallic human noticed.
"Is anyone hurt?" she examined the others quickly. I was getting dizzy from blood loss, and I fell. Apparently the bullet had lodged in my upper foreleg.
The last thing I saw before I lost consciousness was the pup from so many years ago. Strangely enough, it looked a lot like the cigarette girl...
4 comments:
Whoa whoa whoa!! And the plot thickens! =O Amazing post, Rachel!
I love how this story is actually getting deeper as time passes =P
DUCK INVASION!
If anything, my comments are going to remain just as random!
I WANNA BE A DUCK!
Nice work, Rachel!
You do an eloquent job of narrating from your character's POV, doing it in such a way that reveals her thoughts and beliefs without always having to explicitly state them. Your characterization is also stellar, and I love the way you stay in character, even when referring to small things such as who's speaking.
While you have a rather enviable command of story, I have one suggestion for you: changing up your sentence structure. I noticed a lot of simple sentences. Which can get a little boring. Sometimes you could have connected sentences. But you didn't. Or you could have used different punctuation. But you didn't. (And I'm not trying to be mean here - I'm just attempting, if poorly, to prove a point with my own writing.)
Can't wait for your next post! Oh, and one more compliment: I like how you left your post with things to consider in their writing, but also leaving it open to them. Grats!
Waugh! Rachel!!! What is this?? I LOVE how you ended it so cliffhanger-y!! awesome awesome awesome post!! =D
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